I don't usually do this...

I don't usually do this...I don't. To be honest, I wouldnt have said I was the type. For a start, there is the mortifying thought that someone might actually read this. Then, naturally, there is the question of what I'm going to say. So.
Well, I'm never going to begin until I begin, I feel thats pretty much a fundemental, and a great way to make yourself say things out loud - I am beginning, from now, (actually, I looked at the time and realised it was 23 minutes past the 23rd hour of this day and all i had done was gone to the dentist, so it was from about then), to be honest. I want to try and do it, to cut the bullshit.
Like, I loved someone. That is the first time I've phrased that in the past tense. Feels wierd. Feels shitty. And I know soon I'm going to need to be at that point where I can always phrase it in the past tense. No slip-ups. No, whoops, I might still love you. None of that.
I'm also selfish. I think I hurt him, but I also think that his hurt wasn't as deep as my own, and that pisses me off. Secretly, obviously. God, I havent told anyone. But I don't know who you are, if you are anyone, so you can know.
And there you have it, you see? I am a liar. My version of honesty involves anonymous truth telling to strangers that may not exist. None of this is even real. But I am here, telling it, so does it matter?