Thursday, 10 June 2010
Where did everything go?
Now and again I sit back a little and I take stock. I happen to know that this weekend, old classmates of mine are getting married, old work mates are moving to the capital, old housemates are dealing drugs. Right this second I'm pretty sure I don't want to do any of these things, but I don't know what I do want. My stock take is throwing up one glaringly obvious issue: avoiding the decision is not good enough. Most of my decisions up until now I have blamed on someone, or something else: "I had no choice because" is a cop out. Cowardice is always cowardice, however cleverly it is disguised as the gap between a rock and a hard place. All of these 'I had no choice' choices have got me here, with no degree, a frustrating job, friends I rarely see, an old life I miss desperately like one might a lover, and a well rehearsed pack of lies to cover all that up. This is not the direction I was headed when I was 18. This was not the direction I was headed at 20 either. Why then, at almost 22, have I resigned myself to the walk when my feet are hurting? My soul is saying stop, re-evaluate, turn around?
Wednesday, 9 June 2010
Sunday, 6 June 2010
This is for you
Today I am sitting in my room and thinking of Manchester. I am thinking of when I last went there. Manchester is on my mind for a number of reasons; some are quite involved and one is because I had my opinion that the city produces some of the coolest people I have come across confirmed, when yet another of its talented children cropped up in something I was reading: a short story to be exact, written by a gorgeous poet, about holiday romance. Thoughts of Manchester and fleeting connections have got me here, sitting, with This Is For You by Rob Ryan open in my lap. Thinking back to the shop I bought it in, sharing a joke with the cute, bookish guy behind the counter, and the day i bought it on, sharing more jokes, trying on hats, being silly, with another guy.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
